Dating with a disability is regarded as outrageous. The disabled themselves view dating as stressful. They are almost forced into believing dating is not meant for them. However, the world of disability and dating should be given careful attention.
A closer look at the disabled dating would make you realize you can’t lump all handicap dating together. Regardless of the disability, there are several dating complexities a disabled person would face, that are very similar (or even the same) with that a normal person would face.
A blind person, for instance, would experience difficulties at the first contact, which is the starting point for any relationship. A blind person is deprived of the” eye contact” thing. How can you smile at someone you have not seen? You don’t even know if it was the same person you sat next to in the bus, two days ago.
Physical access gets top priority in terms of importance for a wheelchair user, especially during first dates. It can be quite embarrassing to get caught out by a date who might see you struggling up the stairs or even down the bed and be put off even before the date starts. A dumb date cannot express total joy or satisfaction. Hence, several words go unsaid. Notwithstanding, with love and patience, the diverse misconceptions about handicap dating can be corrected.
Rules For Dating With A Disability
- When Internet dating became increasingly popular, the internet became a shield to many disabled people. They took to it, with the thought of hiding their disability. It was soon appreciated, however, that to actually date someone, you can’t remain behind your laptop forever.
- Being disabled leaves you handicapped of the choice of who you spend your time with. Gladly, this is not always true. A disabled have a right to true love, happiness, and lasting relationship. Below are some vital etiquette for handicapped lovers.
- look for people with disabilities only. This is believed would put you on a safer side. If you mean to avoid the pain of rejection, then stick to this.
- Don’t even try to date up. You might fail. Yes, it most likely you fail to try this. Allow love to come naturally.
- Ensure you look as normal as possible at all times. You might just be lucky to make some people think you are normal and fall 8n love with you even before a date night.
- Avoid complaining about the fact that you don’t have anybody. Being handicapped makes you an inspiration to everyone including your date. So, you have everyone.
- Accept the fact that everyone who hangs out with you is paid to do so. Yes, you are worth the price. And if he is hanging out with you for the money, you should be proud to afford it.
- Don’t even think about asking anyone to hook you up. No one would want to do that.
- Don’t be selfish. You should be willing to make your date and friends happy. Being selfless is a vital key to a lasting relationship. This would make your date think the relationship is worth the try.
- You should try getting a date through the Make-A-Wish Foundation. This is your best bet.
- Prepare for the worst. Always bear it in mind that you are most likely to get the worst treatment from others. This would relieve you of the pain when faced with such treatments.
- Organize counseling classes. You would be amazed at how much an audience you would have. And who knows? Your better half might just be on your audience.
- Decline every sex offer. It is most likely to be a fraternity initiation prank or your friends and family members paid them hugely for it.
- If you must be deflowered, then start shopping around for the best-priced hooker yourself.
- Avoid letting your family aware of your quest for a relationship. They will worsen your situation and make you believe it just isn’t practical.
- Don’t be overly critical. The society isn’t as harsh as you think.
- Stop trying too hard, let nature take its course. You will find your lover in due time.
- Be honest with your date. Let them know the truth about your true identity. If they can’t cope with the truth, don’t be sad.
- Be grateful for everything and everyone in your life. You might just be an inspiration to the person sitting next to you.
- Be real! Be yourself and not your representative. Your date wants to date the whole of you and that includes your traits. Don’t try to make up for who you are not. Be yourself and don’t fake it.
- Maintain the necessary hygiene. Dating with a disability requires an extra effort to place you on your partners top priority. Your hygiene standards are one of the things you need to watch.
- Be patient with your date. Don’t flare up at your dates’ annoying jokes. Expect to tease from anyone including your date.
Truth be said, every member of the opposite sex will only comfort you saying “there is definitely someone out there for you”. Why not them? Nonetheless, If you keep the above rules at heart before getting involved with anyone, you will be the happiest person dating with a disability.
In Love With an Handicapped?
If you are involved with a disabled or intend to date a disabled person, and don’t know how to go about it, you should consider the following rules.
Ask The Appropriate Questions
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being inquisitive. Just make sure not to ask offensive questions, especially on the first date. Also if you are a disabled person, and you are so unfortunate to be asked an inappropriate question, you should let your date know that you are not comfortable with that question.
Avoid Making Sexual Jokes
When you make sexual jokes, you make the person feel that all you want from them is sex. This should be totally avoided. It is even very disrespectful for you to be involved in disabled dating and be throwing silly sex jokes at your date. Making sexual jokes with your date even if they appear sexy is rude. Due respect should be given to your partner especially during handicap dating.
Keep Your dating Fun
Dating is meant to be fun, keep it so. Dating with a disabled requires a lot of care and patient. Your date will always want to be sure they have your total attention. Don’t let your date feel used or bored. Dating with a disabled can be so much fun, especially when bond by love. Your date is supposed to enjoy the relationship. Make this happen.
Check Your Date Profile
If you want to get hooked up from a dating site, then read the profiles carefully. It can be very annoying to give details on your profile and still have to introduce yourself again to a prospect. It’s like going through the same interview twice.
Give Them A Fair Treatment
Dating a disabled does not make you inferior. In fact, it makes you stronger than your peers. Treat your disabled date equally with how you would treat any other person you are into. Always know that they deserve as much respect as every other person. Also, don’t be overly concerned with caring for them. It only makes them feel sick. They have always cared for themselves before meeting you, so don’t overemphasize this act. It doesn’t go down well in a handicap dating.
Be Engaged In The Conversation
Be engaged in the conversation as much as possible. No matter how boring your date is, listen to them till the end of the date. Don’t operate your phone or distract yourself with something else all through your date hours. The date night would surely come to an end, so keep your calm.
Don’t Keep Your Date In The Dark
If you find out you are not compatible, just say so. Don’t keep them in the dark or leave them to figure it out. Ghosting is rude. Imagine letting them fix the next date when you already know it won’t walk out between you two. Don’t tell them this by text or over the phone. Just say it to them directly and avoid keeping their hopes high. In fact, ghosting your date only shows how coward you are.
Being in love with a handicap is a bold act. Not everyone can walk down that path. That person might just be your better half. So if you are met for each other, why not? Go ahead and enjoy a lasting relationship with your handicap lover. Even though some statistics have proven that the rate of separation or divorce in marriages is higher with disabled dating and marriage, the concept of dating and marriage remain a fundamental right between two adults.
Most of these etiquette misstep experienced can be due to anxiety from both parties. Falling in love is just an imagination of the mind coming to life. Everyone has the power to love anyone you have chosen to love. If your lover is disabled, hang on to the relationship regardless of friends and family suggestions. You are the only person who can tell what is best for you. After all, there is nothing love cannot conquer.