Like scuba diving without an oxygen mask, like jumping off a plane without a parachute or mountain climbing without boots and helmets, dating is quite a crazy adventure not to talk of disabled dating. Just like these events, the most difficult part of handicap dating is the initial step of meeting a new person.
Although the social media and dating sites have eased this burden a bit, there seems to other things to worry about – wheelchair dating questions. Disabled persons often have to get over their own insecurities and the way they perceive their own image and abilities. Finding someone who is attracted to you as well as one you are also attracted to is critical. It doesn’t matter if it’s a one night stand or a lifetime adventure, the party involved with the disabled tend to ask questions at some point.
There are myriad of questions that people always ask those involved in handicap dating. While some of the questions are funny and the inquirers are just nosy, some are actually decent and logical. Sometimes you think you may have found someone who really ticks all your boxes but some of the questions they ask really serve as the deal breaker.
There is a checklist of questions you shouldn’t ask anyone involved in handicap dating. Dating experts have described them has things you should never say to them. Spend a day or a year on the wheelchair and there are chances that you’ll have to entertain some really crazy questions. They include
Slowdown Aren’t You Moving Too Fast?
This happens to be a mild but offensive question to ask a disabled person. Yes, they are on wheels but comparing them to four-wheeled vehicles like a car is just way off. For instance, asking a disabled person during a date if they aren’t over speeding in an honest attempt to care is quite gross. Disabled people do not bag speeding tickets. So if you don’t want your toes ran over with their wheels, do not ask these question.
What Really Happened?
To be very honest this question is inevitable but there are better ways to ask than just hitting them spot on with “what happened to you?”. There are really polite ways to ask and it’s advisable not to discuss about the subject unless they break the ice or you’ve known them for at least a while. Just like people who aren’t disabled don’t like other people in their business, same applies to people involved in handicap dating.
Do You Ever Think You Are Too Good For A Wheelchair?
Every disabled person who seeks love or dates in a wheelchair does a lot to ensure that their appearances and images are enhanced. They try to lose weight, wear some nice outfits, have their hair done and more. All these require a little bit of extra and then there comes a potential lover, random acquaintance or passer-by who asks if they aren’t too good for their wheels? That’s gross.
There are several other better ways to flatter someone in a wheelchair. As a matter of fact, it’s advisable to give them compliments without using the wheelchair qualifier. It’s important to bear in mind that beauty isn’t exclusive, there on the seat of a wheelchair, one could still look beautiful.
Have You Ever Been With Someone Who Isn’t In A Wheelchair?
Asking this ridiculous question could quickly put off a disabled person and deflate their self-confidence. Yes, it’s true that some disabled people have only been with people of like conditions but do you know the percentage is as low as 15%. Most handicap dating often involve a non-handicapped person. It’s always better to never ask this question except they decide to talk about it.
The list goes on and on as there is really no limit to the thoughtless and insensitive questions people ask the handicapped.
However, on the flip side, there are quite a number of handicap dating questions people always want to ask. A lot of people wonder if handicap dating is also similar to the normal dating. Although some of the questions are ridiculous, some make sense because except you are truly involved, you hardly would understand.
Dating someone in a wheelchair has a lot of mixed feelings that surrounds. One of the things expected of any handicap dating is that lots of able-bodied people want to understand some phenomenon and how things work. It’s in the basic human nature to ask some questions. Some of the questions people ask about handicap dating includes
Adventures And Leisure
Handicap dating is viewed from various negative angles and one question people tend to ask is how do handicap lovers enjoy moments, do they go on adventures and what do they really do with their leisure time. This should have never been a question if the world has attained the level of information and sensitization needed to guide people. Handicap dating has several provisions to catch some fun and enjoy moments.
There are lots of parks, beaches, events and more that have wheelchair accessibility provisions. Under the American with Disability Act (ADA), it is even criminal to build a public facility without a wheelchair accessibility provision. Big occasions and annual events often give people a unique platform to make reservations and special provisions for the handicapped. This affords them the opportunity to enjoy the occasion to the fullest just like every other able-bodied person.
Organizers of public events and occasions often make provisions for handicapped daters, granting them special privileges like meet and greet at concerts, airports and more.
How Do You Have Sex?
This is by far the most inquired aspect of handicap dating. This question is born out of a misconception that makes people think handicapped people often lose the use of their sexual organs. To make matters worse, some handicapped dates often get ruined because people think wheelchair is a cockblock. People with mobility impairments enjoy every bit of sexual activities just like able-bodied people.
Can Handicapped Women Get Pregnant?
The question is always asked if handicapped women can get pregnant. Potential suitors and lovers often want to know if the whole process of pregnancy is just the same with the able-bodied and handicapped. The truth is that despite the physical limitations that exist, handicapped women can also become pregnant and have a normal vaginal birth.
It is, however, important to state that due to the woman’s mobility impairments, there is a higher risk of complication during the pregnancy and childbirth. The ability of a woman to conceive and bear a child doesn’t change with injuries that affect mobility. In the case of men, they might encounter some little challenges in situations such as a spinal cord injury. Erectile dysfunction and low sperm count are health challenges often attributed to men in these situations.
What Do You Do In A Wheel Chair?
Handicap dating has a vast array of fun activities and places to visit. Contrary to the perception the society has, one advice for dating from a wheelchair is to explore the world and enjoy every moment. It is a common practice for people to rue their losses and sulk about their current situation. While it is true that you can’t help but think at times, the best panacea is exploring and enjoying life after.
A lot of people wonder what’s there to be done in a wheelchair and the simple answer is a whole lot! Handicap dating has a checklist of places and locations that can be visited to enjoy every moment. Some of these events include a visit to art galleries, panoramic views, casino dates, winery tour, sporting events, and several exhibits.
How Do You Deal With The Amount Of People Who Stare At You?
Handicap dating attracts a lot of strange things like everyone pausing and staring especially in some special moments. For instance, at a sporting event in a moment that is truly remarkable, one could be tempted to spin the wheels around and plant a kiss on their partner.
Moments like this draws a whole lot of attention especially in the digital age where everyone loves to capture moments on their smartphones. Saying this wouldn’t be a little awkward for the parties involved would be naïve. The best way to deal with the situation is to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Even lovers who have no single disability will have eyes trailing them during a public display of affection. The feeling of guilt or not being fit for such things is unhealthy and shouldn’t be entertained.
The fact is that handicap dating has several ups and downs, most of which centers on building relationships and communication. Disability and handicapped dating sites have carefully dissected the situation. The best way to enjoy disabled dating is to cultivate a positive attitude. Disability is more of a mental challenge than physical, once the mental hurdles have been overcome, it’s easier to find happiness and of course, love.